Opposing Views
by Pottermore21
Summary: When James refuses to go play in the Quidditch match, Lily wonders if it is because of their fight or something more. This is based in their seventh year at Hogwarts.
1. Chapter 1

Morning came too soon the next day; Lily rolled over on her full sized bed and stared up at the gold and maroon fabric of the canopy. She sat in silence for a couple minutes slowly dragging her self out of sleep. The Heads dormitory was way too silent for her liking. Usually her dorm mate was up and causing noise before the sun came up, especially when he wanted to annoy her. But today the only sound was silence.

'He is probably still acting butt sore' Lily thought. Lily got out of bed and trudged across the room to her dresser, pulling out her school robes and her new Gryffindor scarf she had bought in Hogsmead last trip. Today was the Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff game; usually Gryffindor slaughtered Hufflepuff by at least three hundred points. James Potter was the captain of the team and they hadn't lost a game all season. James was in love with Quidditch if he wasn't talking about it, he was thinking about it, running plays in his mind, anticipating the pro-league match the coming night or fantasizing playing one day in the pro-league.

When Lily walked out of her room and into the Common room separating her and the Head Boys room she rolled her eyes, James had shut his door leading to his bedroom. "Immature git" Lily whispered under her breath, "probably already down at breakfast, telling the whole castle about what a horrible person I am."

Lily and James never really were on good terms with one another, and the close approximation to one another around the clock never helped their relationship. Fighting was pretty common in the Heads Room. They fought, said horrible things about one another then they got over it in a couple of hours and everything was fine. Last night the fight started when James tried to ask Lily to Hogsmead. This had been a thing that James had been doing since third year, Lily originally thought it was something James was doing to make fun of Lily but with the continual asking she had begun to think he was being sincere, especially when he wasn't doing it in front of his friends. But Lily was sick of James always trying to force himself onto her. For as smart as James was, nearly top of every class, there was in thing he could not seem to get through his thick skull the word "No.". No, she Lily Amber Evans did not want to go to Hogsmead, go out with, or be anything more than Head Girl with James Potter.

Lily thought this year was going to be different with James. He was being kinder to her, he had almost completely quit hexing people, aside from Severus Snape, and up until last night he hadn't asked Lily out a single time. But then again Lily had been wrong before. James was "Mr. Popular" around school, he was exceptionally smart more than he led on to be, he was tall and though extremely skinny, he still had a fair amount muscle. He was Captain of the Quidditch team, and an amazing player. Almost every girl in school wanted him. Everyone except Lily Evans and that's what drove him mad.

When Lily Arrived at the Great Hall for breakfast she was pleased to see that her friends were already there waiting for her in their usual seats. She missed staying with them in the main Gryffindor Common Room; she missed the sleepovers, the gossip and the company. As she made her way to the table she couldn't wait to spill all about last night and the horrors of living with James, but Sirius Black intercepted her path. Sirius was James's for all purposes brother. They shared everything, and had been practically joined at the hip since first year except for fifth year after their incident. They pulled pranks together, ate together, hit on girls together, everything they did was together. It had even been rumored that Sirius moved in with the Potters last summer. You see Sirius didn't fit in well with his family. Appearance wise he was identical, tall, jet black hair and stony grey eyes; the trade mark of the most Nobel house of Black. But Sirius did not follow the strict Pure Blood elitist codes any more than the Potters did. He loved muggles and their contraptions; he had no stigmatism against half-bloods or half humans. Afterall his best friend was one.

Sirius and James were both apart of the group called the Marauders. It had four members that had been friends and shared a dorm room with each other since first year. Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew were the other two members. Remus was the only controlled one in the group, and he and Lily had become friends in second year when she began to tutor him in Potions. Remus was a small and timid boy. Scars laced his face and hands and he never wore anything less than pants and a long sleeve shirt when he wasn't wearing his school robes. Lily had learned why in fifth year when she discovered that Remus was a werewolf and the scars that were on his hands and face were nothing compared to the ones on his arms and legs. Lily had only found out because Sirius had sent Severus down to the Womping Willow one night to find Remus, another one of his ill thought out pranks to get back at Severus for corrupting Regulas, Sirius's younger brother. Lily had been watching out the window as she saw Sev run across the grounds as James Potter was chasing him. Lily had thought they were fighting so she ran down to break it up, only to realize that James was trying to save Sev. That was the same night that Lily learned that James was an animagus, as he had to transformed to fight off the wolf from harming Lily or Snape. The next morning Remus was furious and embarrassed beyond words and the Marauders fell apart, seemingly to never come back again. But come the next year they were friends again, pulling pranks and being boys like nothing ever happened.

This morning Sirius looked panicked, something that was very odd for Sirius was known to be cool, calm and collected in all situations.

"Lily, please tell me you have seen James today!" his voice was pleading and he spoke in such a rush that she barely could comprehend him.

"No I haven't, I thought he was down here with you twats. Now if you'll excuse me I am going to go eat breakfast now." she tried to push past Sirius but he grabbed her arm and made her turn back around.

"Lily, this is serious I got a note from him this morning saying that he isn't coming to the match. He usually eats before us on Quidditch days so I didn't think it was odd that he wasn't here until I got his note. He wants me to be captain today, he even sent over the starting line and everything but he never said why he couldn't come. He won't answer any of my messages or the two way mirror. Did something happen last night?"

Lily was shocked that James would say he wasn't coming to the match; Quidditch was what made the world go round in James's eyes. He had never missed a game even when he was sick, without Quidditch James would have nothing to live for.

"I mean we fought last night, but what's new? Nothing that hasn't been said before was said and then we retreated back to our dorms for the night. Look you know him, he's probably just being dramatic. He'll be there don't worry."

"Right, yea of course he will show up, this **is** James we are talking about. He wouldn't miss **Quidditch**." Sirius nodded but he didn't look anymore convinced than Lily felt. James didn't joke about Quidditch. They stood there for a couple more seconds then Sirius looked at his watch.

"Look Lily, I have to go warm up for the game. Is there anyway you could go check on him? I would but I don't have time since I am the captain today and all. I just don't have a good feeling about this one."

Lily sighed, "Yeah sure, I'll go back and talk to him. Good Luck today."

Sirius smirked, "Thanks Lily, you're a lifesaver. I'll need all the luck I can get, no one is as good as James, and if I lose to Hufflepuff James will kill me for sure."

As Lily walked back to the Head room, she felt her anger mounting with every stride. First James kept her up all night with their pointless arguing, and now he was causing her to miss out on breakfast. There would be hell to pay this time. She couldn't believe what an insufferable git James was sometimes.

"Quidditch" she said to the portrait. That was the password James had chosen off course. The Portrait swung open and Lily stepped through. Deafening silence still rang through the dorm. Lily walked to James's still closed door.

"JAMES POTTER! Quit being stupid and prideful and open this door! Are you really going to be the cause of our first lost match? Are you really too selfish to lead the team?"

No response came from with in the room. Lily tried to turn the knob on the door, but it was locked.

"James! I know you are in there! You are going to be late!"

Silence was all that answered back.

"James do you really think a locked door is going to make we go away? We learned how to open locked doors back in first year. I know not all of us can be as smart as the wonderful James Potter but trust me I can unlock a door."

Still no response came.

"Fine you forced me to do this you pigheaded git. Almohamora." the lock clicked and the door swung open to reveal a stagnant James. James was sitting in front of his desk in his chair staring out the window. Anyone that knew James would recognize that this wasn't a good sign.

James was always moving, fidgeting, or talking. In class was the worst. He couldn't bear to be still for so long he would tap his quills on the desk, or his shoe on the ground. Some times he pulled apart his quills and reassembled them over and over again. He doodled or turned the person in front of him hair's red. He could not for the life of him stay still, even in tense situations, something his roommates always got on to him for. At his best he could stay still for ten minutes with the help of a calming draught. He was supposed to take one every day but he rarely complied unless there was a test or his mom sent a howler. Yet against all odds there he sat in his maroon and gold chair as still as a stone. The back of his untidy hair stuck out in an array of different directions. He was dressed in his Quidditch robes, but lacked his glasses.

Another thing about James Potter was that he ALWAYS wore his glasses. Lily shared a dorm with him and even when he slept she swore he wore them. Lily knew why, anyone that watched James and Sirius fight in the middle of the common room in fifth year knew why. No one knew that James's eye sight was so poor until the fight, no one except Sirius. So when Sirius managed to get on top of James and rip his glasses off everyone was baffled when James went absolutely rigid and ceased fighting. Lily remembered how furious James had been. Sirius had stood up, but James remained on the ground.

"You are a coward" James spat at Sirius, "you know this isn't a fair fight anymore, I never want to talk to you again, we aren't brothers anymore, and much less friends. First you betray Remus and now me? The only two people that have always been decent to you? You are dead to me. How dare you use the one thing only you knew about! I hate you Sirius Black." James stared straight ahead of him, even though Sirius was standing three feet to his left.

"James…I…I didn't want to fight you that's the only reason I did it…please. I'm sorry" Sirius begged.

"Go back to the Noble House of Black for all I care, your mother loves you more than I do." James had made the final blow to Sirius.

Sirius's face went hard, and then he laughed dryly "I see how it's going to be." Sirius threw James's glasses back to Remus, "Give the blind man his eyes back when I am far from here." Remus waited for Sirius to turn the corner then broke through the circle of on lookers and stood next to James.

"It is me Remus, James. Don't swing." Remus held out a hand for James but then he realized that James couldn't see it. Remus sighed and pulled James's arm up to bring him to a standing position. Remus handed James his glasses and when James pushed them up his nose, he became aware of the crowd that had formed to watch him.

"What are you looking at?" he yelled "I swear Remus, I'm going to kill him. That was completely uncalled for." Remus just nodded his head and understood how James felt, having your greatest weakness used against you was never fun. From that day on James used a sticking charm on his glasses to assure they would never come off like that again. Lily had never seen him with out his glasses since that day, until now. But she was sure he was just being dramatic.

"James, Come on. I don't have time for you to mope that I still refuse to go out with a twit like you. The match starts in an hour. The whole school isn't going to wait on you because you decided that your little heart was too broken and you want to make me seem like the bad guy."

"I am not going," his voice was thick with mucus from the lack of use "now will you please leave my room?"

Lily was taken aback, she had never seen James look so broken in the entire time she had known him. As she approached him she could see that his eyes had red circles around him and his eyes were extremely wet. Had the infamous James Potter been crying all because Lily had turned him down again? Surely not. Lily thought it must have to be another one of his stupid pranks.

"James I am not falling for another one of your stupid and pointless pranks. Grow a pair, get over our argument and go play some damn Quidditch!"

James didn't even flinch at her fowl language.

"Not everything is about you Evans" he said quietly, but he still looked out the window.

The use of her surname came as a surprise, he had always called her Lily since third year when he first pronounced his love for her. Even in fights he called her Lily, it was a sign that he didn't completely hate her, and that he understood that they would get over what ever argument they were having and go back to being somewhat friends.

"I am not leaving until you agree to go down to the pitch with me so you can help us win this game, _Potter_." Two could play that game, if he wanted to be nasty she could fight dirty right back.

"Well then, if you aren't going to leave then _I_ am." He began sliding his hands along the top of his desk. Lily assumed that he was trying to find his glasses, but unbeknownst to him they were on the floor next to his desk. She stooped over and picked them up off the ground.

"Looking for these?" she asked tauntingly. James froze.

"It depends what "these" are." he replied in a falsely sweet voice

"Your glasses." James's face was wiped clean of all false sweetness. His eyes became hard and stony.

"Evans if you know what's good for you, you will hand me my glasses right now." There was no room for arguing in his tone. But Lily was feeling uncharacteristically mean.

"Oh really _Potter_? And what do you plan to do? Fumble after me? I know you can't see the hand in front of your face much less attack it!" to Lily's amazement the hatred in James hazel eyes grew to an even more dangerous point.

"I cant believe you. You bloody hypocrite. You say I am the merciless bully? What you are doing right now is inhumane. I never knew you to be so hateful and underhanded." Lily could make no response to that, but she wouldn't let James break her, he was the one who was in the wrong here, right?

"Just agree to go and play in the match, forget that you are all weepy cause I wont go to Hogsmead with you, and I'll give you your glasses then leave you alone." no emotion of remorse in her voice. James cocked his head and gave an evil smile.

"You are pathetic. You think that I would miss a match because sodding Lily Evans _broke my heart_? Newsflash sweetheart there are lots of girls that would DIE to go out with me, you aren't that special, and you certainly aren't worth five years of admiration. You just made me realize that you aren't worth the shirt on my back. I could say _a lot_ of things that would hurt you, that might make you cry. I could call you a mudblood, I could tell you that your sister has a right to hate you, I could tell you that Snape is becoming a Death eater because your selfish ass wont stay with him, I could tell you that the reason you don't have a boyfriend is because you act like you're a bloody too good know-it-all! But no, I wont say anything like that because I don't use peoples biggest insecurities and weaknesses against them especially if they are my so called _friends_! No, I'm not sinking to your level"

Lily knew that he was right, as far as Lily knew James's family was perfect. He never talked about them much but when he did it wasn't neative, he wasn't Sirius. She knew the Potters were a very wealthy family, both his parents were top ministry officials, but other than that she didn't know much. James was used to being mocked for being a preppy rich kid, but he never got offended by it. People called him "stuck up" but really he wasn't, he wasn't flashy and never spoke about money, people just assumed he was. In all honesty the worst thing Lily could do would be to harm him physically by taking away his sight, because that was his greatest fear. If he was going to be beaten up or killed he at least wanted to know what was coming. It was like taking away a cripples crutches. You just didn't do it, not any decent person anyway. Lily was absolutely speechless; she couldn't believe the horrible monster of destruction that came over her. How could she behave this way? She numbly handed James his glasses, he shoved them on his face forcefully then rose to his full height, at least a full foot taller than Lily.

"You want to know why am not going to the match today?"

Lily didn't respond, she just stared at him dumbstruck.

"WELL DO YOU? SINCE YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?"

Lily was frightened by his yelling, she had never seen him this mad even with Sirius

"…My fucking Dad _died _last night," his hazel eyes bored into her now watering emerald ones, "So thanks for the fucking compassion." James strode out of the room and slammed the door, so that the walls shook.

Lily felt her knees grow weak and her back slid down the dorm wall. How could she be so horrible to him, a man that just lost his father? Tears welled in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. She cried for James and she cried cause she knew that nothing she could do or say would ever make up for what just happened.

**Authors Note: Hey, thanks so much for reading this was my first Fic! Let me know if you liked it, I am thinking about doing a second chapter but only if there is interest in it! Just write anything in the box below and I will respond to it! Thank you! **


	2. Chapter 2

The sun was setting behind the Quidditch pitch. Slowly what seemed like the longest day in James's life was drawing to a close. As the sun sank so did the temperature, James pulled his knees up to touch his stomach, he felt numb; he had never remembered a time in his life that he had felt so utterly alone. Even though he was an only child and had been left by his parents often when they had to go to work, he had always had someone or something to play with. Whether it be the newest gadget from Diagon Alley, or the one of the Potters many house elves he always had someone. However, nothing could match up to his dad, Tomas Potter had been his idol, his role model, his superhero; James had always wanted to be exactly like his father, a world without him didn't exist in James's mind.

The Potter family was close knit. James could tell his parents anything and had always confided in them. They had been his only friends other than house elves till he was eleven and went to Hogwarts. They smothered James in love, and gave him everything he ever asked for, but they still tried to teach him to be respectful and down to earth. There was no way that their son would turnout like all the other Pureblood prats. The Potters were determined to be different, they accepted all people, mudbloods, halfbreeds, anyone that had a pure heart they befriended. However with the changing of age, the growing of maturity and the developing independence James had forgotten that his parents weren't imperishable objects.

Ever since he was a little boy James knew that his father was of an important status in the Ministry, but he didn't learn his true rank until he started at Hogwarts. People acted differently around James, the Potter name carried a great weight, even teachers were known to hold him in high esteem, and when he began showing signs of brilliance in his classes he often was given the remark of, "You are just like your father." Nothing had given James a greater pleasure than to be compared to his father. Warmth welled up within him and his heart beat proudly anytime someone mentioned their similarities. Not only were they intellectually matched but they were also impeccably similar in appearance. Both tall and lanky, and carried the trait of incurably messy black hair proudly. James's father was the only one who understood the perils of depending on glasses. Tomas had helped James to get over the bullying from muggle school boys about his "four eyes" and instilled great values into his son about not picking on people who were different then himself.

James had been braced many times for his fathers death, he wasn't exactly a young man, and auror work is tuff especially with the new arising dark powers. James remembered visiting his father in St. Mungo's after a particularly bad mission. The "Death Eaters", Voldemorts new clan of followers had ambushed Tomas and his division, holding many of them hostage and torturing them for days. Tomas had taken many curses, including unforgivable ones but had managed to escape saving himself and his division. In the hospital James and his mother had sat by Tomas holding his cold shaking hands. It was the first time James had ever remembered crying, his mother rubbed his back.

June Potter loved her son and husband very much, she had married Tomas when she was a young witch and devoted her life to assuring that he was happy. No matter how similar they were, she never could quite understand the allure of being an auror. June was a Healer, she enjoyed seeing the growth and the rehabilitation of her patients. She had begged Tomas not to become an auror, but he told her not to worry, and that "everything would be alright." But there she sat squeezing her unconscious husbands hand, with tears streaming down her face. She couldn't lose him. "Please Tomas, I can't live without you. James and I _need_ you" her voice was weak with worry and saturated with sadness. And just like that as if her words had broken a spell his hand squeezed back. That was the day that James had begun to think his dad was invincible. It took weeks for him to recuperate, but he made a full recovery and came back with a vengeance. He often took the most dangerous missions that involved attacking Death Eaters and he never got hurt, until today. James knew that he should go home, he should comfort his mother but he couldn't make himself move.

James leaned that his father was the leader of the highest Auror division, and many thought he should become the Minister of Magic, but he had refused. Because of his status in the magical world, his father was often missing from the home life, but he never failed to make sure his family knew that they came first. Tomas had never missed a Christmas, Birthday, or Anniversary. The only thing he had missed was one Quidditch match, it was the reason that James wasn't currently speaking to his father. He had missed the Slytherin vs Gryffindor game. The best game that James had ever played, because he thought his father was there. He had played for his father that night, he played to make his father proud. It was what he lived for. That game was the last time James would ever play Slytherin and he wanted his dad to see this match. He was heartbroken when he hadn't shown, and James wound up drowning his sorrows with firewisky that night. Then much to Lily's disapproval, he skipped the next day of classes to nurse his hangover. Sirius was the only one that knew why James was in a fowl mood. Oh shit Sirius! How would James tell Sirius about Tomas? Sirius had become a brother. He lived with the Potters and Tomas had treated him like a son. It was the first parental figure that had ever cared for Sirius, and now he was gone.

He felt trapped under his guilt; it was weighing him down, making it hard for him to breathe. How could he be so asinine? He had ignored his dad for a month, all over one insignificant Quidditch match. James couldn't remember the last time he had written to his dad; much less told him he loved him. James had been too preoccupied with his friends, his Quidditch, and his pranks to even send one bloody letter home. At this moment he hated himself, his eyes burned, but no tear came rolling this time. How could he make it through? By now Lily had probably told her friends about her incident with James, hell the whole school probably knew by now. The _perfect_ James Potter's life had been ruined. He could hear the gossip now, the Slytherins would be happy. Tomas had been responsible for putting most of their fathers in jail. In fact he was surprised that no one had found him yet.

AUTHORS NOTE: Okay so…that took me wayyy longer to write than the last chapter and its like a third the length! I lovee using dialog and when im reading I usually skim over all the details and all that jazz. But as it turns out that's what this entire chapter was for the most part. I decided that I'm going to write a third chapter about James telling Sirius, and the James and Lily talking about their fight with TONS more dialogue and action I just hope it doesn't take as long as this one! Thank you to everyone who reviewed and followed! Please tell me what you think about this chapter and if you like dialogue more than details or vice versa! XOXO -Lauren


	3. Chapter 3

James trudged down the hallway dreading the news he had to deliver to Sirius. He had run through the conversation a million times in his head but nothing sounded quite right. But it had to be done, he couldn't hide from Sirius much longer. He heard the muffled sounds of conversatuions escaping from behind the Fat Lady.

"Toadstools" he mumbled then stood back to let the portrait open, it revealed a sea of crimson and gold. Couples occupied all of the corners locked in their lovers embrace, there was a huge banner of Gryffindor hanging on the highest wall, and the conversations of victory were deafening. No one seemed to pay the least bit of attention to James as he pushed his way through the tightly knit group of teenagers; he kept his eyes on the ground to avoid conversations with anyone but Sirius.

After fifteen minutes of searching James finally spotted Sirius entertaining a gaggling group of girls, apparently giving them a play-by-play recap of the game. James had used the old time trick many times- Tell them about the game, maybe exaggerate a few things, mess up your hair, and if you played your cards right, you were almost guaranteed a trip to the broom closet. _If only he knew what was coming. _

James finally made his way across the room to Sirius, and broke through the circle of girls with only minimal effort. Most of them were in the lower levels and went weak at the knees with just the thought of being in close proximity to James, so when they took notice of him trying to break their circle they turned into zombies.

"Sirius, we need to talk." James kept his eyes on the ground, to hide the importance of the situation not wanting to cause a scene

"Jamsie, my boy! I see you at last!" Despite the proximity of the two Sirius was screaming. His breath smelled strongly of fire whisky, and he sloppily pulled James into a hug, spilling drink down his shirt. "Playing hookie again?"

"Sirius please listen…"

"This ladies is a true Quidditch star, I'm sure you all already knew that though. Yeah Jamsie here is always talking about Quidditch..."

"Sirius this isn't the time…"

"He's going to be in the pros in a couple of years, you just wait! His dad is best friends with the coach of the Harpies, he took us to a game one time it was-"

"SIRIUS! Please shut up!" James raised his head and met eyes with Sirius, his shout not only got the attention of Sirius but also the surrounding crowd too.

Sirius was slightly sobered by the sight of his brothers red rimmed eyes, but staying true to character he didn't let the girls see any sign of distress and instead kept things light, "Aye Aye captain. You ladies stay put now, once I deal with this scally wag I'll come back to deal with you all." He topped it off with a wink, before briskly turning to follow James out of the portrait hole.

"James! Slow down mate, I couldn't catch up to you even if I was sober!"

James kept the same pace down the long corridor, making to verbal response to Sirius. This worried Sirius, James always had something to say.

"James if this is about the match, we obviously won, and no one is mad at you for not being there, it was just Hufflepuff"

"Its not about the game Sirius" James weakly muttered while he continued to walk.

"James, please stop talking and tell me what's going on!" James spun on a dime to face Sirius. James's eyes began to water again, spilling over their brim and letting a trickle slide down his face.

"James…what-I don't understand…" Sirius was dumbstruck at the sight of seeing his best friend and for all purposes brother in tears. He didn't know hoe to handle this. James was a prankster, always chipper, full of energy like a terrier, and was only upset when he lost Quidditch matches, but never to the brink of tears, never even close. Sirius couldn't deal with this, he was a man, the first one to joke and be cool, and Remus was the sensitive one, not him. Beyond the feelings of confusion, Sirius ultimately was scared. What could James be dealing with that would bring him to tears?

"Sirius—I –Today –Dad…" James's voice broke on the last word at the same time that Sirius's heart sank.

"Dad?" _oh no, anyone but the Potters _Sirius pleaded in his head. He couldn't loose a piece of the only true family he had. The Potters had taken him in, loved him, cared for him, in a time in his life that Sirius felt utterly alone. No one could replace Mr. Potter. When Sirius first arrived on the Potters door step, bloodied and beaten, they hadn't made him explain himself, they simply took him in and showered him in love.

"James I'm freaking out here. What happened is he hurt, his job- what? I need details!" Sirius struggled to keep his voice firm.

"He's gone. Sirius—hes…_gone_"

_Gone?_ Gone where? On a mission? Out of country? Left his family? He couldn't be gone gone, that shouldn't happen to such a good person. It just couldn't happen! James raised his head and his bloodshot be-speckled eyes found Sirius's now wet stoney grey ones.

"He is dead, Sirius. Gone—Forever."

Sirius's world came crashing down, and pure fury rose to fill it. He threw his goblet of firewisky against the wall and it shattered into thousands of pieces.

"James if this is a fucking joke, it isn't funny!" James just put his head into his hands and slowly shook it back and forward. "WHY!" Sirius bellowed, the scream echoing off the stony walls. He had never believed in a higher power, and this didn't make him change his mind. What kind of God would take away even more from a kid that grew up abused and unloved, who had just found a happy place in life? "Why him?" Sirius sobbed. _Why couldn't he have taken my real father?_ Sirius questioned in vain.

The Funeral was to be held the following Friday in Godric Hollow. The four Marauders were excused from school that whole week, to attend the funeral and be there for moral support. A very somber James Potter trudged down the stairs in his black tuxedo, his hair filled with gel, but it didn't tame his mane in the least.

"You look very handsome, just like your father." James's mom kissed him on the cheek, then smothered him in a tight hug. "Today is going to be tough, but we will make it through. We still have each other, and after all he hasn't really left us forever, we'll see him again in a better place someday. Just remember that" June Potter was always an optimist. James merely nodded his chin just above his mothers head. "Chin up, shoulders back," June instructed, "we can't show them that they've won." James did as he was told. Gone were the tears and the heart break, only to be replaced with numbness.

The funeral passed slowly, flowers were thrown on the grave and Bible verses were read. The marauders held close together, always lending each other comfort when needed; Mr. Potter was very much loved by all the boys. James shook countless family members, coworkers, reporters, and distant friends hands, little over three hundred people showed up to mourn for Thomas. "So sorry to see him pass, Mr. Potter, your dad and I went to school together, he was the best lad in our year."

"Thank you very much, I'm sure he would've appreciated you coming today. If you'll excuse me I have to go help my mother." James had used this excuse plenty of times this afternoon to avoid conversations that might evoke some kind of emotion, other than numbness. Thankfully Remus and Peter were only a few yards away.

"Hey, how are you holding up?" this must have been the tenth time they asked. James reached around them to grab a glass of champagne off of the waiter's tray, and drank it all in one swallow.

"I'm fine."

But his answer couldn't be further from the truth.

AN: Hey Guys! Sorry for the delay, im just really confused on which way to take the story. I'm having a little bit of writers block! If you have an idea or any advice you can PM me or write a review! Im open for anything, and would love the help! If I get a good idea I bet I can update again this weekend! Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

James trudged down the hallway dreading the news he had to deliver to Sirius. He had run through the conversation a million times in his head but nothing sounded quite right. But it had to be done, he couldn't hide from Sirius much longer. He heard the muffled sounds of conversatuions escaping from behind the Fat Lady.

"Toadstools" he mumbled then stood back to let the portrait open, it revealed a sea of crimson and gold. Couples occupied all of the corners locked in their lovers embrace, there was a huge banner of Gryffindor hanging on the highest wall, and the conversations of victory were deafening. No one seemed to pay the least bit of attention to James as he pushed his way through the tightly knit group of teenagers; he kept his eyes on the ground to avoid conversations with anyone but Sirius.

After fifteen minutes of searching James finally spotted Sirius entertaining a gaggling group of girls, apparently giving them a play-by-play recap of the game. James had used the old time trick many times- Tell them about the game, maybe exaggerate a few things, mess up your hair, and if you played your cards right, you were almost guaranteed a trip to the broom closet. _If only he knew what was coming. _

James finally made his way across the room to Sirius, and broke through the circle of girls with only minimal effort. Most of them were in the lower levels and went weak at the knees with just the thought of being in close proximity to James, so when they took notice of him trying to break their circle they turned into zombies.

"Sirius, we need to talk." James kept his eyes on the ground, to hide the importance of the situation not wanting to cause a scene

"Jamsie, my boy! I see you at last!" Despite the proximity of the two Sirius was screaming. His breath smelled strongly of fire whisky, and he sloppily pulled James into a hug, spilling firewisky down his shirt. "Playing hookie again?"

"Sirius please listen…"

"This ladies is a true Quidditch star, I'm sure you all already knew that though. Yeah Jamsie here is always talking about Quidditch..."

"Sirius this isn't the time…"

"He's going to be in the pros in a couple of years, you just wait! His dad is best friends with the coach of the Harpies, he took us to a game one time it was-"

"SIRIUS! Please shut up!" James raised his head and met eyes with Sirius, his shout not only got the attention of Sirius but also the surrounding crowd too.

Sirius was slightly sobered by the sight of his brothers red rimmed eyes, but staying true to character he didn't let the girls see any sign of distress and instead kept things light, "Aye Aye captain. You ladies stay put now, once I deal with this scally wag I'll come back to deal with you all." He topped it off with a wink, before briskly turning to follow James out of the portrait hole.

"James! Slow down mate, I couldn't catch up to you even if I was sober!"

Ignoring him, James kept the same pace down the long corridor, making no verbal response to Sirius. This worried Sirius, James always had something to say.

"James if this is about the match, we obviously won, and no one is mad at you for not being there, it was just Hufflepuff"

"Its not about the match, Sirius" James weakly muttered while he continued to walk.

"James, please stop walking and tell me what's going on!" James spun on a dime to face Sirius. James's eyes began to water again, spilling over their brim and letting a trickle slide down his face.

"James…what-I don't understand…" Sirius was dumbstruck at the sight of seeing his best friend and for all purposes brother in tears. He didn't know how to handle this. James was a prankster, always chipper, full of energy like a terrier, and was only upset when he lost Quidditch matches, but never to the brink of tears, never even close. Sirius couldn't deal with this, he was a man, the first one to joke, Remus was the sensitive one, not him. Beyond the feelings of confusion though, Sirius ultimately was scared. What could James be dealing with that would bring him to tears?

"Sirius—I –Today –Dad…" James's voice broke on the last word at the same time that Sirius's heart sank.

"Dad?" _oh no, anyone but the Potters _Sirius pleaded in his head. He couldn't loose a piece of the only true family he had. The Potters had taken him in, loved him, cared for him, in a time in his life that Sirius felt utterly alone. No one could replace Mr. Potter. When Sirius first arrived on the Potters door step, bloodied and beaten, they hadn't made him explain himself, they simply took him in and showered him in love.

"James I'm freaking out here. What happened is he hurt, his job- what? I need details!" Sirius struggled to keep his voice firm.

"He's gone. Sirius—hes…_gone_"

_Gone?_ Gone where? On a mission? Out of country? Left his family? He couldn't be gone gone, that shouldn't happen to such a good person. It just couldn't happen! James raised his head and his bloodshot be-speckled eyes found Sirius's now wet stoney grey ones.

"He is dead, Sirius. Gone—Forever."

Sirius's world came crashing down, and pure fury rose to fill it. He threw his goblet of firewisky against the wall and it shattered into thousands of pieces.

"James if this is a fucking joke, it isn't funny!" James just put his head into his hands and slowly shook it back and forward. "WHY!" Sirius bellowed, the scream echoing off the stony walls. He had never believed in a higher power, and this didn't make him change his mind. What kind of God would take away even more from a kid that grew up abused and unloved, who had just found a happy place in life? "Why him?" Sirius sobbed. _Why couldn't he have taken my real father?_ Sirius questioned in vain.

The Funeral was to be held the following Friday in Godric Hollow. The four Marauders were excused from school that whole week, to attend the funeral and be there for moral support. A very somber James Potter trudged down the stairs in his black tuxedo, his hair filled with gel, but it didn't tame his mane in the least.

"You look very handsome, just like your father." James's mom kissed him on the cheek, then smothered him in a tight hug. "Today is going to be tough, but we will make it through. We still have each other, and after all he hasn't really left us forever, we'll see him again in a better place someday. Just remember that" June Potter was always an optimist. James merely nodded his chin just above his mothers head. "Chin up, shoulders back," June instructed, "we can't show them that they've won." James did as he was told. Gone were the tears and the heart break, only to be replaced with numbness.

The funeral passed slowly, flowers were thrown on the grave and Bible verses were read. The marauders held close together, always lending each other comfort when needed; Mr. Potter was very much loved by all the boys. James shook countless family members, coworkers, reporters, and distant friends hands, little over three hundred people showed up to mourn for Thomas. "So sorry to see him pass, Mr. Potter, your dad and I went to school together, he was the best lad in our year."

"Thank you very much, I'm sure he would've appreciated you coming today. If you'll excuse me I have to go help my mother." James had used this excuse plenty of times this afternoon to avoid conversations that might evoke some kind of emotion, other than numbness. Thankfully Remus and Peter were only a few yards away.

"Hey, how are you holding up?" this must have been the tenth time they asked. James reached around them to grab a glass of champagne off of the waiter's tray, and drank it all in one swallow.

"I'm fine."

But his answer couldn't be further from the truth.

AN: Hey Guys! Sorry for the delay, im just really confused on which way to take the story. I'm having a little bit of writers block! If you have an idea or any advice you can PM me or write a review! Im open for anything, and would love the help! If I get a good idea I bet I can update again this weekend! Thanks for reading!


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